Gosh, time really flies by. It seems like yesterday when Terry asked me “Can I hold her?” My daughter was just a few days old but I didn’t hesitate. I had known Terry for about a year which was long enough for me to recognize that behind his gruff, tough-guy demeanor lived a gentle, caring soul. He carefully took my baby-daughter in his arms holding her as if she was a faberge egg. He didn’t have a beard back then so his entire face transformed into one big, radiant smile. “Hi there, tiny!”, he said while the baby suddenly appeared completely relaxed in his big, strong hands. I will always remember this episode because, other than me and my wife, Terry was the first person to hold my daughter.

“We were a team…a family.”

I was Terry’s direct service provider for seven years during his participation in the Independent Living Program. Even though he was fiercely independent, Terry happily shared an apartment with two roommates Roy and David. Together they became the flagship of the program, which was a precursor to both the Family Teaching Model and the Neighborhood Network. 

I had a special bond with all three. It was more than a working relationship. We were a team…a family. Their routines, habits, goals and dreams became an important part of my life and vice versa. 

David was an older gentleman and Terry was extremely protective of him, always making sure he is safe and well taken care of. On weekends Terry and Roy worked at Hastings Bookstore and Video. The job meant a lot to both for several reasons. Terry enjoyed the extra cash, of course, but for him there was something more meaningful in it: he was valued. His labor, his effort, his detail-oriented character were appreciated by his co-workers, his manager and the customers. 

Sometimes we would go rent a movie at Hastings and Terry would point to the windows or the floors: “Look! How did they get dirty so soon? I’ll take care of it first thing tomorrow morning”!

In 2002, The Journal World wrote an article about Terry and Roy and their importance to the Lawrence community. The same year during our organization’s 25th year anniversary they were honored with a prestigious award. 

Back then I made a short video about Terry and although I tried hard, I failed to capture one of his most important personality traits – his sense of humor. Terry was hilarious. A master of sarcasm, he loved dropping funny one-liners and imitating other people’s voices. Sometimes he did it under his breath with a coy smile peeking out from underneath his beard.

Everyone in my family loved Terry but especially my daughter. She always laughed at his jokes, marveled at his attempts at magic tricks and called him “uncle Terry”. He would join us for family outings but the big holidays were always reserved for his loving sister Jackie and her family. The bond between them was indestructible. 

Terry truly cared about those close to him. Even if he didn’t show it on the surface, he cared deeply about his family, his roommates and his friends. He loved children, small animals, chocolate chip cookies, Pepsi, grilled cheese sandwiches, John Wayne movies, Chiefs football, coffee and old episodes of “Lassie”. 

Eventually, work and life separated us and I saw Terry less and less often. His Professional Family Teacher, Stacy Yates, told me that he never stopped watching old Westerns and “Lassie”. In recent years his health had deteriorated and he was using a wheelchair to get around. 

“Spending time with my grandkids and playing with them was his favorite thing.” says Stacy, “The wheelchair didn’t keep him from being active. He loved baking brownies, shopping…getting cookies and snacks at the store.”

I saw him occasionally at Midnight Farm and the DC Day Center and he would ask me about his old DSPs Scott and Kelly. He called them affectionately “troublemakers”. 

It seems like yesterday when Terry was holding my newborn daughter. A lot has changed since then. Roy and Dave passed away years ago. Hastings’ video is long gone and my daughter…? Well, she turned thirty a few months ago. 

Just like all of us who knew him, she was heartbroken when her “uncle” Terry left us this January. 

“Even when the doctors told me that the end is near, I didn’t believe them”, said Stacy, “After all, we are talking about Terry. He’s always been so strong and resilient. We lost him but I must say – he was such a great character…he got to live his best life and in the process touched our lives. I love Terry! We all love Terry!”

I like to think that when December comes we all get to take a look back before reaching the end of the road. What have we left behind? Was our life worth living? What is our legacy? 

I believe Terry enriched the lives of everyone who got to know him. His kindness and humanity illuminated his path…from beginning to end. He left this world a better place and we are all blessed to have been a part of his adventure.

In the words of Stacy Yates: I love Terry! We all love Terry!